Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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