i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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