Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
