So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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