I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
