his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
