Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
