did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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