Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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