Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
