shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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