Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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