is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
