we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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