Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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