this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
