i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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