There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
