but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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