walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
