I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
