can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
