Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
