you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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