I showed him my bush... on skype.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He kissed a someone with a penis
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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