As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
