Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
50% drunk capacity currently
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
