ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
