Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
