Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
soo... how was my night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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