I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think your dad took our porno
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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