I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
