I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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