He asked to "fluff my boner.."
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
