I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
