On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
