yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
