Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
