so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
porn star boner night. come get it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
