dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
