After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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