did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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