"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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