I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
