this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
