You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
