We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
