i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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