Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
