Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
