We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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