I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
